Imponderables

Imponderables
When is the now becoming forever?
Where does the here touch the unreachable?
How can the known light the unfathomable?
Why do the answers create the enigma?
Who am I in the all?
Can a whim be created with true purpose?
Is truth ever more than a perspective?


This was an exercise I had to do on a night alone with a snowy cold world outside, struggling to find a grip on my sanity and purpose again. There are times when it helps to put some of my biggest struggles into words and then release my grip on them, and by doing so, return myself to the rock of my life-within-reach again.

I believe in life.

This quoted text from Robert Gerzon's email newsletter is as close to my own beliefs and spirituality as I have ever seen written down anywhere. It's not perfect for me, but it's the best I've seen so far.

This Month's Message: "I Believe in Life" by Robert Gerzon

In these anxious and uncertain times we all need something to believe in -- something to inspire us to keep going and keep growing.

But what can we truly believe in?

This question first arose for me personally many years ago. I had been raised in the Christian religion. But when I was a teenager and learned to think for myself I began to have serious doubts about core tenets of Church dogma. Although I greatly admired Jesus and his teachings (and still do) I found I could no longer believe in the Church as a guide to true spirituality.

I became a seeker of truth. At first I put my faith in human rationality and science to provide answers. I realized that the most powerful religion in the world today is the modern belief system we call science. Science told me about the kind of universe I live in: it is cold, impersonal, and governed by uncaring mechanical laws. Science told me about the true nature of human beings: I am a biological organism run by biochemical processes and primitive drives for survival. Science also has a message for me about the meaning and purpose of my life: there isn't any. As a tool for understanding my physical universe I found science fascinating. As a guide to living my life, it left me empty and depressed.

Later I studied the other world religions and even returned to Christianity for a second look. Everything had something useful to offer. Yet, none of these by themselves or even all of them taken together provided me with what I needed to feel comfortable in my own skin here on this planet.

I asked myself: What are you really looking for? I came up with this short list:

· I need something I can really believe in. That sounds obvious but it was one of my biggest difficulties. I found things that were very comforting that I wanted to believe in -- like a God that's personally looking out for me, a guru who will lead me to the blessed state of enlightenment, a self-help system that will change my life. But I just couldn't believe any of these things because they didn't make any sense when I looked at the actual world around me.

· I need something simple and inspiring that gives meaning and purpose to my life. When I'm troubled, depressed or anxious I find that complex intellectual or spiritual theories no matter how profound just don't help me.

· I need something practical that helps me live my daily life. I need a compass to guide me and tools and techniques I can use to solve problems and meet goals.

· I need something that unites our human family instead of dividing it. I want to believe in something that every one of the six billion members of our human family can believe in -- something that helps us resolve our human conflicts and solve the enormous problems we are facing at this time in our evolution.

· I need something that helps me feel good about myself and the world I live in. When a reporter asked Albert Einstein what was the most important question in the world, he replied simply: "Is the universe a friendly place?" I too need to believe in the basic goodness and loving nature of all of life including humans beings and the vast universe of which we are a part.

I have found that "something I need" and I want to share it with you. Yet it is so precious and so personal that you will still need to find it for yourself within yourself.

I found it during a "dark night of the soul."

I had woken up from a terrifying nightmare of horror, torture and death. I tried to ground myself in reality, but my "real life" was falling apart and offered nothing solid to stand on.

I grasped desperately for something to hold on to. I tried conjuring up religious beliefs and positive images but they all became distorted and dark. In desperation I opened some trusted spiritual texts but the words on the pages just lay there dead and dry.

I was exhausted yet afraid to sleep, terrified of returning to the nightmare I had just escaped. I felt like I was on the edge of a bottomless abyss, my mind on the verge of spiraling into madness.

What can I believe in? What is true? What is real? What is good?

As I lay there, I became aware that the only thing I could be sure of was that I was breathing, that I was alive.

I let being alive be enough.

My breath was shallow and constricted. My body was tense like a scared animal. But I was alive.

"I am alive. I am safe. I can breathe. It is safe to breathe. It is safe to be alive."

Slowly my body relaxed. Slowly my breath became deeper and fuller. I began to breathe in the Life that surrounded me. With each breath, I felt Life filling me with new life. Out of the darkness, a radiance emerged. I was breathing in Light. I felt my heart open. I was breathing in Love.

"I believe in Life."

Safe in the arms of Life, I was able to sleep. When I awoke the next morning I repeated, "I believe in Life."

And I have ever since.

· I can believe in Life. It is real right here right now. I have no doubts. I am living it.

· Life is simple and inspiring and gives meaning and purpose to my life. I look at Life, at this infinite and amazing universe, at nature in all its glory, at the adventure of evolution and I am humbled and inspired to be a part of this living mystery.

· Life is practical and helps me live my daily life. A simple question helps me make life-affirming choices and decisions: Does this serve Life or sabotage it?
Does my thinking (my Inner Talk) serve Life or sabotage it?
Does the food I am about to eat serve Life or sabotage it?
Does this action I am about to take serve Life or sabotage it?
I can ask myself this basic question about everything including the words I speak and the work I do.
I refuse to suppress my own aliveness or the aliveness in others. Because I believe in Life I follow the guidance of the Life within.

· Life unites our human family instead of dividing it. We can all believe in Life. A belief in Life is the healthy origin of all religions. Life is bigger than any belief system. Life is bigger than any one of us, any group of us, or any one species. Affirming Life means creating a world in which every living being on this planet can reach their full potential. Toxic belief systems are threatening our very survival today. Greed, inequality and selfishness undermine Life. Generosity, justice and empathy increase Life.
We are free to symbolize Life in any way that helps us celebrate it: as a radiant Tree of Life, as a beautiful God and Goddess. And we can remember that these are but symbols of the infinite and eternal Life that exists beyond all our words and images.

· Life helps me feel good about myself and the world I live in. When I experience Life purely and directly through meditation I know it is good. It is beyond good. It is beyond duality. Life is day and night, light and dark, life and death. Yes, Life includes the natural cycle of life and death. All living organisms die, but Life -- the spirit of Life with each of us -- is ever-renewing and eternal. The only kind of death that is unnatural and anti-Life is spiritual death, the suppression of the human spirit.

There is nothing to fear. The universe is not just friendly, it is infinitely wise and loving.

Just look in the mirror. If you choose to believe in Life at that very moment you'll see Life smiling back at you with love.

http://www.gerzon.com

The Benefits and Cost of Personal Change

I believe it is one of the universal human conditions that we all deal with making decisions that balance the viewed benefits of change with our imagined costs of those changes.

Humans (and maybe a few other species) can imagine possible futures that are better than today, and as a result, we think of changes that we think will make things better (by some measure we choose or accept), and we desire those changes to occur. So why don't we just make all those changes (at least the ones that we believe we have some control over)? Frequently, we don't because of a fear of the possible "cost" associated with the change. Why doesn't someone just go get a better job -- because they might not find one -- or because they can't afford to give up some benefit of the current job -- or because they would lose seniority -- or....

It is rare that anyone can truly know the exact consequences of choosing to do something or choosing not to do that thing. Our existence just isn't set up to allow us to know the future -- we can only use our best experience from the past, our intuition, our logic, and our gut-feel to pick one way or the other and live with it.

Oh, and don't fall into the trap of thinking you just won't decide -- inaction is just as much of a decision as action.

Best of skill and luck predicting the future, and may your benefits always outweigh your costs.

Graffiti

I was walking through our local park today and saw graffiti
marked on the play equipment there, and, as usual, was disgusted at
the fact that people can have so little regard for things that don't
belong to them. Aside from trying to imagine interesting
technological methods of catching and punishing people who do this, I
pondered what the best ways are to teach children to respect the
property of others, and what attitudes and thoughts lead people to
want to put graffiti on things that aren't theirs.

I think that one way to help children learn to respect the
property of others is to give them situations where they work to
create or earn things of their own -- things which have value to them,
and for which they had to put effort or time into to create or earn.
This would at least give them something to consider if they would want
someone else taking or ruining their possession, and so may be able to
use the golden rule to decide not to damage someone else's property.

Of course, I could imagine that if someone had something like
this, and had it forcibly taken away from them or were unable to keep
it for some other reason out of their control, then they could also
give up on the golden rule by saying to themselves that someone else
(or just existence) didn't respect it for them, so why respect it for
anyone else.

I'm really pained by seeing graffiti, as it makes me think someone
has really lost of sense of value in their life, and as a result, is
unable or unwilling to see any reason not to destroy things that
aren't their own.

Regrets

At the end of our lives we are more likely to regret the things we did not do than the things we did...

A very thought-provoking quote I ran across today in a dailyOM.

St. Theresa's Prayer

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Optimistic Balance

Interesting to read this article about the power of staying positive, and realize how many "but/balancing" thoughts go through my mind about it. Once again, "healthy balance" seems to be the best words for the overall concept to strive for, then you just have to try to define those "simple" words of "healthy" and "balance" in a complex world! The thought crossed my mind that "the unbalanced optimist is the one killed trying to ski through the revolving door with the most optimistic view of the possible outcome". Few extremes (if any) are widely practical. That being said, I would still describe myself as an optimist in general, and a realist when it is more practical. Hmm, interesting to split it up and ask what areas one is optimistic about relative to others (I'm very optimistic about people, but not about stressful situations)...