The Benefits and Cost of Personal Change

I believe it is one of the universal human conditions that we all deal with making decisions that balance the viewed benefits of change with our imagined costs of those changes.

Humans (and maybe a few other species) can imagine possible futures that are better than today, and as a result, we think of changes that we think will make things better (by some measure we choose or accept), and we desire those changes to occur. So why don't we just make all those changes (at least the ones that we believe we have some control over)? Frequently, we don't because of a fear of the possible "cost" associated with the change. Why doesn't someone just go get a better job -- because they might not find one -- or because they can't afford to give up some benefit of the current job -- or because they would lose seniority -- or....

It is rare that anyone can truly know the exact consequences of choosing to do something or choosing not to do that thing. Our existence just isn't set up to allow us to know the future -- we can only use our best experience from the past, our intuition, our logic, and our gut-feel to pick one way or the other and live with it.

Oh, and don't fall into the trap of thinking you just won't decide -- inaction is just as much of a decision as action.

Best of skill and luck predicting the future, and may your benefits always outweigh your costs.

Graffiti

I was walking through our local park today and saw graffiti
marked on the play equipment there, and, as usual, was disgusted at
the fact that people can have so little regard for things that don't
belong to them. Aside from trying to imagine interesting
technological methods of catching and punishing people who do this, I
pondered what the best ways are to teach children to respect the
property of others, and what attitudes and thoughts lead people to
want to put graffiti on things that aren't theirs.

I think that one way to help children learn to respect the
property of others is to give them situations where they work to
create or earn things of their own -- things which have value to them,
and for which they had to put effort or time into to create or earn.
This would at least give them something to consider if they would want
someone else taking or ruining their possession, and so may be able to
use the golden rule to decide not to damage someone else's property.

Of course, I could imagine that if someone had something like
this, and had it forcibly taken away from them or were unable to keep
it for some other reason out of their control, then they could also
give up on the golden rule by saying to themselves that someone else
(or just existence) didn't respect it for them, so why respect it for
anyone else.

I'm really pained by seeing graffiti, as it makes me think someone
has really lost of sense of value in their life, and as a result, is
unable or unwilling to see any reason not to destroy things that
aren't their own.

Regrets

At the end of our lives we are more likely to regret the things we did not do than the things we did...

A very thought-provoking quote I ran across today in a dailyOM.

St. Theresa's Prayer

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love. It is there for each and every one of us."

Optimistic Balance

Interesting to read this article about the power of staying positive, and realize how many "but/balancing" thoughts go through my mind about it. Once again, "healthy balance" seems to be the best words for the overall concept to strive for, then you just have to try to define those "simple" words of "healthy" and "balance" in a complex world! The thought crossed my mind that "the unbalanced optimist is the one killed trying to ski through the revolving door with the most optimistic view of the possible outcome". Few extremes (if any) are widely practical. That being said, I would still describe myself as an optimist in general, and a realist when it is more practical. Hmm, interesting to split it up and ask what areas one is optimistic about relative to others (I'm very optimistic about people, but not about stressful situations)...

The Book of Life

I've always wanted to be the author of the best "book about life" available. I always bemoaned the fact that there is no good book of this sort (my opinion, of course), and frequently thought there should be. I wanted a book to help people through the hardest times in life, to help them find happiness in life, to help them find meaning to their life, to help them accomplish what they want to accomplish, and to be genuinely good people.

I think I always knew that there could be no perfect book like this, and as I've grown older, that thought has solidified for me -- what is right and most helpful for one person at one time is not necessarily right or helpful for another person or even that same person at a different time. Maybe I'll save more discussion of that concept for another post.

What got me started thinking about this today was some of the humorous aspects of my thoughts about writing such a book of life. One was that I always liked to joke that I wanted to write a book about life as soon as I was done, because then I would have learned as much as possible about it!

Also humorous has been my efforts at thinking of what the best title for the book would be, and here are some of my top choices so far:

Life (as I know it)
Life: Your Mileage Will Vary
Life: Nobody Gets Out Alive
Life: We Apologize for the Inconvenience
The Cliff Notes of Life

Questions to start 2009

Questions on my mind to start the year:

How many days, hours, minutes, seconds will you waste?
How many excuses will you make?
How many times will fear stop you from taking action?
How many times will you put your interests behind those of all others present?
How many times will you act from assumptions?
How many times will you protect others from who you are?
How many times will you choose the easy instead of the right for you?
How many times will you sell yourself short?
How many times will you not take care of yourself?
How many times will you hide your human traits?
How many times will you degrade yourself?
How many times will you accept the actions of others?
How many times will you gravitate towards ambiguity over clarity?
How many times will you beat yourself up for past actions?
How many times can you sacrifice?
How will you know if time is wasted?
How will you know if a justification is worthwhile?
How will you what fear would have saved you from?
How will you know if your assumptions are correct?
How will you know who deserves or needs protection most?
How will you know what is healthiest for you?
How will you know how much you are worth?
How will you know when to share yourself with the world?
How will you know what the effects of your actions will be?
How will you know how to judge others?
How will you know what is best or right?
How will you know what the future holds?
How will you know the outcome of your choices?
How will you live with your past actions?
Who are you?
Who do you want to grow to be?
How much time do you have to answer these questions?

Oh, the humanity. Oh, the humanity.